Category Archives: Skipper Sunday

12 Things My Long Distance Relationship Taught Me

Skipper was gone learning how to save the world this summer leaving me half way across the country. It was only 2 months and I did survive. Here is what I learned:

It is HARD

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Enough said.

It sucks

It does. Especially in the beginning and when you see all the annoyingly happy couples who pop up ALL THE TIME and all you want to do is choke them. But that subsides. A little.

You won’t always feel lonely

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In the beginning especially then after a while you accept the fact that your closest relationship is, in fact, with your cell phone. This is the magically point in time where it totally becomes 100% acceptable to stop shaving and well forget the annoying beauty routine. Also I have been known to watch TV while talking to him on the phone. (Hi Skipper!)

DO NOT WATCH THE NOTEBOOK

Don’t do it. You’ll be like oh I’m fine, today has been a cake walk and then it’s 2 a.m. and you’re crying on the phone to your half asleep best friend. Like I said. Bad choice.

It does get easier

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It will. Eventually you do realize that you can literally do whatever you want and spend every second with your friends and well it’s not like he’s going notice!

Your relationship will change, I promise

Not in the OMG WE’RE GOING TO END. Well I am sure that happens but it didn’t to me. You just become better friends because well lets be honest here, sex is not a thing.

It is okay to not want to talk to them

I promise. It has happened MANY times to me. Some nights I truly just did not want to hear about how awesome the Navy was/is because that was the reason I couldn’t see him. Other nights I felt ignored and like I was always going to come second to whatever it was he thought was more important that night and I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore

Stop listening to Ed Sheeran and go do what you love

Ed Sheeran is not going to sing him/her back. So do what YOU love. I did and it helped. I volunteered, read EVERYTHING, hiked, saw my friends and spent time alone and didn’t feel guilty doing any of it because well if he was going to be oh so annoyingly happy in BC. Damn it I was to and trust me it helps. When you spend time doing what you want the time does in fact pass quickly.

See your friends often, but don’t let that stop when they come home

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I saw my friends all the time when he was gone and as much as yes he is home now and I am very happy for that, those girls who were there for me when he was gone are also the same girls who are still there for me now. So see them because there are something Skipper will never understand and somethings that only friendship will heal.

Fights happen.

They do. Even from a distance. The only nice part is you get a lot of time to think it through when you don’t have to see them for another 6 weeks.

FaceTime and Skype are no help

Well they are if you are cool with a super high phone bill or a super awesome wifi frozen screen.

It’s okay to not feel ready to see them

I didn’t. I was terrified that everything would change and it would all be different and I wouldn’t know him like I use to. And to be honest I didn’t know parts of him any more but the blessing in disguise there is you get to meet them all over again in a way.

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A Goodbye

Well readers. As I need to switch my focus to other things right now. So this is a goodbye. At least from Skipper Sunday’s. I have decided it is what is best for Skipper and I. Thank you to those who have continued to follow along and I hope I could at least make you laugh. This isn’t the end of my blogging, in fact it is only the beginning. I will just be using something else as a theme.

Talk Soon,

M

Skipper Sunday: Perspective and Perception

It is truly amazing how one or two little things can change everything. As you all know Skipper has left the building. He is off training to save the world and he loves it. Now here I was feeling sorry for myself and missing him and I know that it is okay to miss him but I have it pretty damn easy. I get to talk to him lots and he calls every night before bed and he is home in 54 days. Holy shit. He’s home in 54 days.

Okay anyway I only have to spend 5 days without hearing from him and yes that will be hard but its only 5 days. And by the time that happens I will be so busy getting ready for him to come home that I won’t really notice it. Now back to what I was saying. Last Sunday, shortly after my post I headed up to Mississauga unexpectedly. My old rugby team which my sister currently plays on was headed to a provincial championship and needed a female chaperon last minute. Me being me means that I went, no questions asked. I didn’t even have a tooth brush when I got on the bus. It was exactly what I needed. A lot of girl time and the sport I love.

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Now on my way back I had a little bit of time to kill in downtown Toronto so I walked up to the Eaton Center and grabbed a book. Before I tell you what book, I want you to know that many of the military wives, fiances and girlfriends I know will not watch the movie because it is hard to watch knowing that, that could be your man.Personally, I have seen the movie and it is hard and I will never watch it with Skipper because it is to emotional for me. Skipper, I know you’re reading this and I am sorry but I can’t watch it with you. You can pick another one. (see, comprise, ladies and gentleman) The book is American Sniper. I won’t tell you about it but I will include the link to the good reads link. Just click the book title.

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Now, you may ask how this has to do with perspective. Well let me tell you! In the beginning Chris Kyle does an amazing job of talking about when he became a SEAL. Now I won’t give it away but the way he talked about it is the same way Skipper does.

He loves the Navy in ways I can only hope he will ever love me. It is his purpose it seems and reading that in a book for whatever reason made it click. Somehow while sitting on a train I became okay with the distance and realized how crazy I have been acting and that as much as I wish I could make him stay, in the words of Zac Brown Band, he was born for leaving. Like me and my writing it is what fuels him. It’s what makes him get up in the morning and I can’t take that away from him no matter how desperately I want him to stay.

It is still hard and it will always be hard but it’s what he wants to do so how can I take that away?

It doesn’t mean that it’s easy to say goodbye because it isn’t. Watching him walk out of that terminal and on to that plane was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It took every ounce of self control not to run out after Skipper and drag him back to the car and chain him to the seat.I miss him all the time and I wish he could just come home but he can’t and he doesn’t want to.

There is this perception of what it is like to date these men. This perception is all about balls and uniforms and this romantic idea that they are these idealistic heroes who run off to save the world every chance they get and they come home covered in medals and the dutiful spouse/girlfriend/fiance is waiting there with open arms. And it’s false.

There are people in these relationships with real feelings. Don’t get me wrong I am not minimizing the job they do. I am beyond grateful for it. It’s just dating them is hard. Yes there are balls and uniforms and everything else but they don’t come around often. People look at me when they find out Skipper is on training. TRAINING. He hasn’t even been deployed for christ sake. They treat me like a little puppy in a hot car and ask me how I am with this look of sympathy because they are half expecting me to lose my shit at any given moment. It drives me mental. I am not strong. In no way am I good at distance. I hate it. Everyone says I’m so strong and I look around Kingston and see the wives of the service men who are deployed. They haven’t seen their husbands in months. And some how I am the strong one?

On a happier note I get to go hiking today and if there is one way on this planet that I will feel closer to Skipper it will be while I am hiking.

T-54 days to Skipper Arrival!

M

Skipper Sunday: Post Departure

Hi all!

So for those of you who don’t know this series use to belong over on my other site Marketing and Me. For those who followed the series welcome to my new home!

So this series is all about my trials and tribulations as the girlfriend of a Naval Officer Cadet. He attends the Royal Military College of Canada here in Kingston. He just finished his third year and is off training to save the world in Victoria BC. He left Wednesday. As in 4 days ago. Yes, 4 days ago. And ladies and gentlemen, he won’t be home for another 61.

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I am sure any seasoned military wife is laughing at me and that’s fine. I am lucky. I talked to him every night before bed even if it is only 8 his time. It is still hard.

That being said it isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. During the build up (which is intense. Its stressful and you try to cram as much time in together as you can.) I thought the sky was going to fall and I would be unable to function without him. Yes, I know it is pathetic as hell. But I am happy to announce it wasn’t as bad as I had thought. Yes, Wednesday was a long day. I was over tired, emotional and a rolling ball of anxiety. That meant that poor Skipper caught that one right between the eyes. He was out with his new roommates and well I needed to talk and I was emotional and he was busy and guess how well that went!

Also, Skipper, or any of Skippers roommates if you are ready this I apologize for the actions that emotional Mackenzie made. I am not in fact that crazed. Most days. Okay fine some days I am.

Thursday was also weird. I just feel weird really. I am the type or person who needs to be busy helping people so before Skipper left I was doing great! I had him to get ready to leave and a relationship that needed my full attention to get to the point where it could take the distance but my job got on that plane and so now I am a little lost floating around in Mackenzie space waiting for another job. So I guess that means volunteer work, at least until July when I can start getting ready for him to come home!

There are good days and bad ones, I guess that comes with everything though. I find the longer I sit around and wait for calls or texts the more pain I am in when they come but trying to stay busy all the time feels impossible sometimes.

Anyway that is kinda all for now. I start getting busy with other super cool things next week so make sure to check back next week for what I am sure will be an interesting story!

T-61 days to Skipper Arrival!

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M