Tag Archives: Military Girlfriend

My Happily Ever After?

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Happily Ever After.”

Am I living my “Happily Ever After”? Maybe?

I’m 19. I don’t think there is a 19 year old out there who can honestly say they have it all figured out.

Did I think I would be doing the things I am at 19? No. I never thought any of this would happen. I look back at my 17 year old self and everything is wildly different. When I was 17 I figured by now I would be at Carleton or Ryerson taking a journalism or communications program, maybe playing rugby and in the summer I would be back in Kingston working as a waitress.

Did I think I would be dating a cadet at RMC and doing the all of the crazy things that come along with that? Hell no. I figured I may have a boyfriend but I figured he would just be a normal University student.

But did the changes in my life turn out for the better? 100% yes.

Do I have any regrets? Not a single one.

I love the program I am in at St. Lawrence. College was the best choice I have ever made. I am lucky to have the job I do and I was given the tools I need to do my job because of the education I received at the college.

Now dating my sailor. I have no regrets about him. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have him. Was it what I expected? Not at all but it keeps things interesting and I have learned how to work around the military when I need to.

So all in all am I living my “Happily Ever After”? No. Will I get there? Yes

M

Skipper Sunday: Perspective and Perception

It is truly amazing how one or two little things can change everything. As you all know Skipper has left the building. He is off training to save the world and he loves it. Now here I was feeling sorry for myself and missing him and I know that it is okay to miss him but I have it pretty damn easy. I get to talk to him lots and he calls every night before bed and he is home in 54 days. Holy shit. He’s home in 54 days.

Okay anyway I only have to spend 5 days without hearing from him and yes that will be hard but its only 5 days. And by the time that happens I will be so busy getting ready for him to come home that I won’t really notice it. Now back to what I was saying. Last Sunday, shortly after my post I headed up to Mississauga unexpectedly. My old rugby team which my sister currently plays on was headed to a provincial championship and needed a female chaperon last minute. Me being me means that I went, no questions asked. I didn’t even have a tooth brush when I got on the bus. It was exactly what I needed. A lot of girl time and the sport I love.

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Now on my way back I had a little bit of time to kill in downtown Toronto so I walked up to the Eaton Center and grabbed a book. Before I tell you what book, I want you to know that many of the military wives, fiances and girlfriends I know will not watch the movie because it is hard to watch knowing that, that could be your man.Personally, I have seen the movie and it is hard and I will never watch it with Skipper because it is to emotional for me. Skipper, I know you’re reading this and I am sorry but I can’t watch it with you. You can pick another one. (see, comprise, ladies and gentleman) The book is American Sniper. I won’t tell you about it but I will include the link to the good reads link. Just click the book title.

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Now, you may ask how this has to do with perspective. Well let me tell you! In the beginning Chris Kyle does an amazing job of talking about when he became a SEAL. Now I won’t give it away but the way he talked about it is the same way Skipper does.

He loves the Navy in ways I can only hope he will ever love me. It is his purpose it seems and reading that in a book for whatever reason made it click. Somehow while sitting on a train I became okay with the distance and realized how crazy I have been acting and that as much as I wish I could make him stay, in the words of Zac Brown Band, he was born for leaving. Like me and my writing it is what fuels him. It’s what makes him get up in the morning and I can’t take that away from him no matter how desperately I want him to stay.

It is still hard and it will always be hard but it’s what he wants to do so how can I take that away?

It doesn’t mean that it’s easy to say goodbye because it isn’t. Watching him walk out of that terminal and on to that plane was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It took every ounce of self control not to run out after Skipper and drag him back to the car and chain him to the seat.I miss him all the time and I wish he could just come home but he can’t and he doesn’t want to.

There is this perception of what it is like to date these men. This perception is all about balls and uniforms and this romantic idea that they are these idealistic heroes who run off to save the world every chance they get and they come home covered in medals and the dutiful spouse/girlfriend/fiance is waiting there with open arms. And it’s false.

There are people in these relationships with real feelings. Don’t get me wrong I am not minimizing the job they do. I am beyond grateful for it. It’s just dating them is hard. Yes there are balls and uniforms and everything else but they don’t come around often. People look at me when they find out Skipper is on training. TRAINING. He hasn’t even been deployed for christ sake. They treat me like a little puppy in a hot car and ask me how I am with this look of sympathy because they are half expecting me to lose my shit at any given moment. It drives me mental. I am not strong. In no way am I good at distance. I hate it. Everyone says I’m so strong and I look around Kingston and see the wives of the service men who are deployed. They haven’t seen their husbands in months. And some how I am the strong one?

On a happier note I get to go hiking today and if there is one way on this planet that I will feel closer to Skipper it will be while I am hiking.

T-54 days to Skipper Arrival!

M

Skipper Sunday: Post Departure

Hi all!

So for those of you who don’t know this series use to belong over on my other site Marketing and Me. For those who followed the series welcome to my new home!

So this series is all about my trials and tribulations as the girlfriend of a Naval Officer Cadet. He attends the Royal Military College of Canada here in Kingston. He just finished his third year and is off training to save the world in Victoria BC. He left Wednesday. As in 4 days ago. Yes, 4 days ago. And ladies and gentlemen, he won’t be home for another 61.

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I am sure any seasoned military wife is laughing at me and that’s fine. I am lucky. I talked to him every night before bed even if it is only 8 his time. It is still hard.

That being said it isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. During the build up (which is intense. Its stressful and you try to cram as much time in together as you can.) I thought the sky was going to fall and I would be unable to function without him. Yes, I know it is pathetic as hell. But I am happy to announce it wasn’t as bad as I had thought. Yes, Wednesday was a long day. I was over tired, emotional and a rolling ball of anxiety. That meant that poor Skipper caught that one right between the eyes. He was out with his new roommates and well I needed to talk and I was emotional and he was busy and guess how well that went!

Also, Skipper, or any of Skippers roommates if you are ready this I apologize for the actions that emotional Mackenzie made. I am not in fact that crazed. Most days. Okay fine some days I am.

Thursday was also weird. I just feel weird really. I am the type or person who needs to be busy helping people so before Skipper left I was doing great! I had him to get ready to leave and a relationship that needed my full attention to get to the point where it could take the distance but my job got on that plane and so now I am a little lost floating around in Mackenzie space waiting for another job. So I guess that means volunteer work, at least until July when I can start getting ready for him to come home!

There are good days and bad ones, I guess that comes with everything though. I find the longer I sit around and wait for calls or texts the more pain I am in when they come but trying to stay busy all the time feels impossible sometimes.

Anyway that is kinda all for now. I start getting busy with other super cool things next week so make sure to check back next week for what I am sure will be an interesting story!

T-61 days to Skipper Arrival!

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M